Eight Easy Steps

how to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment

how to defer to men in solvable predicaments

how to control someone to be a carbon copy of you

how to have that not work and have them run away from you

how to keep people at arms length and never get to close

how to mistrust the ones who supposedly love the most

how to pretend you're fine and don't need help from anyone

how to feel worthless so fast you're helping

I'll teach you all this in 8 easy steps

In the course of a lifetime, I never forgot

I'll show you how to in 8 easy steps

I'll show you how leaderships were taught by the best

how to hate women when you're supposed to be a feminist

how to play all highest when you're really a hypocrite

how to hate god when you're a player and a spiritualist

how to sabotage when you're in tough seas

I'll teach you all this in 8 easy steps

In the course of a lifetime, I never forgot

I'll show you how to in 8 easy steps

I'll show you how leaderships were taught by the best

I've been doing research for years

I've been practicing my ass off

I've been waiting my whole life for this moment, I swear to you

Culminating just to be this well versed leader before you

I'll teach you all this in 8 easy steps

In the course of a lifetime, I never forgot

I'll show you how to in 8 easy steps

I'll show you how leaderships were taught by the best

how to lie to yourself and thereby to everyone else

how to keep smiling when you're thinking of killing yourself

how to know them all the too well by going with them

how to stay stuck in your life hating them

I'll teach you all this in 8 easy steps

In the course of a lifetime, I never forgot

I'll show you how to in 8 easy steps

I'll show you how leaderships were taught by the best

Out Is Through

Every time you raise your voice

I see the greener grass

Every time you run for cover

I see this pasture

Every time we're in a funk

I picture a different choice

Every time we're in a rut

This distant grandeur

My tendency to want to do away feels natural

My urgency to dream of softer places feels understandable

The only way out is through

The faster we're in the better

The only way out is through ultimately

The only way out is through

The only way we'll feel better

The only way out is through ultimately

Every time I'm confused

I think there must be easier ways

Every time our horns are locked on toweling throwing

Every time we're at a loss, we've bolted from difficulty

Anytime we're still made of final bowing

My tendency to want to hide away feels easier and

The tendency is picturing another place comforting to go

The only way out is through

The faster we're in the better

The only way out is through ultimately

The only way out is through

The only way we'll feel better

The only way out is through ultimately

We could just walk away and hide our hands in the sand

We could just call it quits, only to start over again

With somebody else

Every time we're stuck in struggle, I'm down for the count that down

Every time I dream of quick fix I'm swaged

Now I know it's hard when it's through

And I'm damned if I don't know quick fix way

But formerly mistreat me silence now outdated

My tendency to want to run feels unnatural now

The urgency to want to give to you what I want most feels good

The only way out is through

The faster we're in the better

The only way out is through ultimately

The only way out is through

The only way we'll feel better

The only way out is through ultimately

The only way out is through

The faster we're in the better

The only way out is through ultimately

The only way out is through

The only way we'll feel better

The only way out is through ultimately

Excuses

Why no one will help me

I am too dumb I am too smart

They'll not understand me

I am lonely

They'll hate me

And there is not enough time

It's too hard to help me

And god wants me to work

No resting no lazy

These excuses how they served me so well

They've kept me safe

They've kept me stoic

They've kept me locked in my own cell

I'm too far from home

It takes far too much energy

And I cannot afford to

No one will ever see me

These excuses how they served me so well

They've kept me safe

They've kept me stoic

They've kept me locked inside my cell

These excuses how they're so familiar

They've kept me small

They've kept me blocked

They've kept me safe inside my shell

Bringing this into the light

Shakes their foundation

And it clears my side

Now my imagination

Is the only thing that limits

The bar that is raised to the heights

No one can have it all see

I have to they want me to

And I can't let them down

I'll never be happy

These excuses how they served me so well

They've kept me safe

They've kept me small

They've kept me locked inside my cell

These excuses how they're so familiar

They've kept me small

They've kept me stoic

They've kept me locked inside my cell

Doth I Protest Too Much

I'm not threatened, by every pair of legs you watch go by

I don't cringe when you stare at women, it's just a thing called guy

I don't notice your side ways glances or where your loyalty lies

I'm secure and out of me, it's hard to get a rise

I'm not jealous

I don't get moved my much

I'm not enraged

Not insecure as such

Not going insane

Rational stays in touch

Doth I protest too much?

I'm not tortured by how oft your busy, Cause I've got things to do

I'm not disappointed about how you don't miss you me, cause I don't need you to

I'm not needy

I don't get clingy much

I'm not scared

I'm not afraid as such

I'm not dependent

Rock solid, stays in touch

And Doth I protest too much?

So much energy to prove to you

Who I can't possibly be

So much energy to prove to you

I'm not who you hate for me to be

I'm not saddened

And I don't miss you

Cause I have moved on too

I'm not concerned about your new lover

Cause I have a new lover too

I'm not depressed

I don't get down that much

I'm not despondent

I am not dark as such

I'm never sad

Keep Chin Up, Stays in touch

And Doth I protest too much?

I'm not jealous

I don't get moved my much

I'm not enraged

Not insecure as such

Not going insane

Rational stays in touch

And Doth I protest too much?

Knees Of My Bees

we share a culture same vernacular

love of physical humor and time spent alone

you with your penchant for spontaneous events

for sticky and raspy, unearthed and then gone

you are a gift promised sent with a wink

with tendencies for conversations that raise bars

you are a sage who is fueled by compassion

comes to nooks and crannies, is bound for all stars

you make the knees of my bees weak, tremble and buckle

you make the knees of my bees weak

you are a spirit that knows of no limit

that knows of no ceiling who baulks at dead-ends

you are a wordsmith who cares for his brothers

not seduced by illusions of fair-weather friends

you make the knees of my bees weak, tremble and buckle

you make the knees of my bees weak

you are a vision who lives by the signals of

stomach and intuition as your guide

you are a sliver of god on a platter

who walks what he talks and who cops when he's lied

you make the knees of my bees weak, tremble and buckle

you make the knees of my bees weak

you make the knees of my bees weak, tremble and buckle

you make the knees of my bees weak

you make the knees of my bees weak, tremble and buckle

you make the knees of my bees weak

Not All Me

I rather face all on top of my face

I am the perfect target screen

For your blindly fueled rage

I bare the brunt of your long buried pain

I don't mind helping you out

But I want you to remember my name

It's not all me

It's not all my fault

I need remind you, but I won't take it all on

Past riddled rage

I see the buttons I engage

Is my dignity in place?

I'm all too happy to switch

It's not all me

It's not all my fault

I need remind you, but I won't take it all on

Lest I find my voice

Find the strength to stand up to you

Lest I stay to my limit

And only take on what is mine to

We are a team

I'm here to help mend and rescind

All I trigger unknowingly

A job I hold in high esteem

It's not all me

It's not all my fault

I need remind you, but I won't take it all on

It's not all me

It's not all my fault

I need remind you, but I won't take it all on

I'll only take some of it

So-Called Chaos

Deadlines meetings and contracts all breached

D-days and structure responsibility

Have-to's and need-to's and get-to's by three

Eleventh hours and upset employees

I want to be naked running through the streets

I want to invite this so called chaos that you'd think I dare not be

I want to be weightless flying through the air

I want to drop all these limitations and return to who I was meant to be

Heartburn and headaches and soon-to-be ulcers

Compulsive yearnings non-stop to please others

I want to be naked running through the streets

I want to invite this so called chaos that you'd think I dare not be

I want to be weightless flying through the air

I want to drop all these limitations at the shoes upon my feet

All wont be lost if I'm governed by my own uniqueness

Stop lights won't work I'll get home sound and safe regardless

Won't deem me had if I'm led by my own rulelessness

My fire wont quell and I'll be harm-free and distressless

Trust me

Line towing and helping expectations up to living

Inside box obeying inside line cutting

I want to be naked running through the streets

I want to invite this so called chaos that you'd think I dare not be

I want to be weightless flying through the air

I want to drop all these limitations at the shoes upon my feet

I want to be naked running through the streets

I want to invite this so called chaos that you'd think I dare not be

I want to be weightless flying through the air

I want to drop all these limitations and return to who I was meant to be

This Grudge

Fourteen years, thirty minutes, fifteen seconds,

I held this grudge

Eleven songs, four full journals, thoughts of punishments

I've expanded

Not in contact, not unmet

Such communication, telepathic

You've been villified

Used as fodder

You deserve a piece of every record.

But who's it hurting now?

Who's the one that stuck?!

Who's it torturing now?

With an empty knot in her stomach.

I wanna be big and let go

This grudge that's grown old

All this time I've not known

How to rest this bygone

I wanna be soft and resolved

clean state and released.

I wanna forgive for the both of us

I come abandoned house

Dusty cuupord, furniture stll intact

if I visit it now

Will I simply revieve it

Somehow, into it us.

But who's still waking now?

Who's tired of her own voice?

Who's weighing down with no gift from time of said healing?

I wanna be big and let go

This grudge that's grown old

All this time I've not known

How to rest this bygone

I wanna be soft and resolved

clean state and released.

I wanna forgive for the both of us

Maybe as I cut the cord

Veils will lift from my eyes

Maybe as I lay this to rest

This weight of my shoulders will rise

Here I sit much determined

Ever real equipped to draw this curtain

How this has entertained, validated and has served me well

ever the victim

But who's done whining now?

Who's ready to put down?

This load I carried longer than I had cared to remember

I wanna be big and let go

This grudge that's grown old

All this time I've not known

How to rest this bygone

I wanna be soft and resolved

clean state and released.

I wanna forgive for the both of us..

Spineless

I won't see my dear friends as much

Male friends especially, I'll no longer be in touch

I'll change my hobbies to match yours

I'll stop reading my favorite books

I won't spend all this selfish time alone

I'll cater to you and hang on your every word

I'll be subservient and spineless

I'll lick your boots as empty shells

I'll be opinion less and silent

I'll be the prettiest appendage to ever lose herself

I'll re-define self-sacrifice

Live my life as apologetic compromise

I'll know you need if I rock the boat

I'll be subservient and spineless

I'll lick your boots as empty shells

I'll be opinion less and silent

I'll be the prettiest appendage to ever lose herself

I feel this, truly proclaimed will help the curbing of this tendency

I know this sharing of shame will ensure that I won't forget myself so easily

I'll be low maintenance and agreeable

I will not talk about my dreams so much

I'll listen to you for hours, won't need anything

I'll be subservient and spineless

I'll lick your boots as empty shells

I'll be opinion less and silent

I'll be the prettiest appendage to ever lose herself

I'll be subservient and spineless

I'll lick your boots as empty shells

I'll be opinion less and silent

I'll be the prettiest appendage to ever lose herself

I feel this, truly proclaimed will help the curbing of this tendency

Everything

i can be an asshole of the grandest kind

i can withhold like it's going out of style

i can be the moodiest baby

and you've never met anyone as negative

as i am sometimes

i am the wisest woman you've ever met

i am the kindest soul with whom you've connected

i have the bravest heart you've ever seen

and you've never met anyone as positive

as i am sometimes

u see everything u see every part

u see all my light and u love my dark

u dig everything of which I'm ashamed

there's not anything to which you can't relate

and you're still here

i blame everyone else not my own partaking

my passive aggressiveness can be devastating

i'm terrifying and mistrusting

and you've never met anyone as closed down as I am sometimes

u see everything u see every part

u see all my light and u love my dark

u dig everything of which I'm ashamed

there's not anything to which you can't relate

and you're still here

but i resist persist and speaks none of them i know

but i resist your love no matter how low or high i go

I'm the funniest woman you've ever known

I'm the dullest woman you've ever known

I'm the most gorgeous woman you've ever known

and you've never met anyone as everything as I am sometimes

u see everything u see every part

u see all my light and u love my dark

u dig everything of which I'm ashamed

there's not anything to which you can't relate

and you're still here